Waking in a garden, looking to see who was there
A feeling of love surrounded me from everywhere
A sound came from me; it startled me to hear my own voice
No more pain “hallelujah”
I heard the angels sing and rejoice
Looking around the never ending flowers
Beauty was all I could see
An angel said this garden was created for me
God planted the seeds before the earth was ever made
To make sure I would have my own garden to run and play
I can still hear your cries from down below
Your tears water my garden and it continues to grow
Thank you for your never ending love
From my garden I will continue to watch over you from up above
When you go to visit my tree
I will be laying in my garden thinking of you while you remember me
Cassandra Kaye Schafer ~ Garduno
In Memory of James P Kurtz April 22, 2009 ~ September 1th, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
The Last Dance
Worn and weary too tired to press on
An endless battle you’ve been fighting for so long
Often sitting silently watching you drift away
Choking on the word goodbye still something I cannot say
It wasn’t that I was afraid of you breaking don’t you see
To hold you in my arms would only break me
One tries to let go as another hangs on
Haunting was the melody as we sang the last song
I’ll pull you in close for it will be my last chance
James do me the honor can I have this dance
Cassandra Kaye Schafer ~ Garduno
I wrote this for my precious Baby James' prayer vigil. I was always afraid of holding him with all his tubes. On September 18th, 2010 I got to hold him one last time.
An endless battle you’ve been fighting for so long
Often sitting silently watching you drift away
Choking on the word goodbye still something I cannot say
It wasn’t that I was afraid of you breaking don’t you see
To hold you in my arms would only break me
One tries to let go as another hangs on
Haunting was the melody as we sang the last song
I’ll pull you in close for it will be my last chance
James do me the honor can I have this dance
Cassandra Kaye Schafer ~ Garduno
I wrote this for my precious Baby James' prayer vigil. I was always afraid of holding him with all his tubes. On September 18th, 2010 I got to hold him one last time.
Friday, April 30, 2010
On a New Journey
Nervous not knowing what a waits for me but I am confident that my new journey will not be a waste. I need to be packing yet I am putting it off. I am off on my first women’s retreat and a bit nervous leaving the family behind. I will be without any communication from the outside world. Excited and terrified. I have not had to go without any form of communication in a long time, finding it weird that I will just have to unplug.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Keeping faith in a world with limited humanity
I look at he the fading humanity today and my heart aches. We were designed to be love and to give it freely. Yet over a course of time we turned to look inside instead of outside. People’s hearts have been hardened and they no longer can see blessings when God is pouring them down from heaven. People take for granted that their lives will go on tomorrow. We were never promised tomorrow so why do we waste the day? I admit I am guilty of it. There has been numerous times I turned away my child’s affection so I could watch TV or have some “alone” time.
We are always asking God to make the world a better place and he continually does. He places angels in our lives to help us wake up out of our self absorbed induced sleep. I look at James Kurtz and Ben Page and know that God has placed them into my live. When I prayed for the world to be a better place God created them. Not one person who has come into contact with these boys has not been affected deeply by their stories. We may not know how much longer they have but we cherish every moment they are here with us and know to be with these children you are watching God’s work in various people’s lives.
I pray continually for their healing for the Glory of God and not doctors. Yet in the end these boys might not make it. Despite the odds I still have faith. As Beth Moore states faith knows that God has the power to do something even though he might choose not to. I do know every day Ben and James fight miracles are happening. Continue to watch the story of these boys unfold and open your hearts to others pain out there. Don’t close your eyes to sadness or one day you will no longer feel and that is terrible when you can become numb or indifferent to others in crisis.
Don’t forget to thank God daily for your healthy loved ones. Cherish these angels and the ones that God has placed in your lives. As always continue to pray for the blessing and health of others. Don’t let the world’s ways rob you of your humanity.
We are always asking God to make the world a better place and he continually does. He places angels in our lives to help us wake up out of our self absorbed induced sleep. I look at James Kurtz and Ben Page and know that God has placed them into my live. When I prayed for the world to be a better place God created them. Not one person who has come into contact with these boys has not been affected deeply by their stories. We may not know how much longer they have but we cherish every moment they are here with us and know to be with these children you are watching God’s work in various people’s lives.
I pray continually for their healing for the Glory of God and not doctors. Yet in the end these boys might not make it. Despite the odds I still have faith. As Beth Moore states faith knows that God has the power to do something even though he might choose not to. I do know every day Ben and James fight miracles are happening. Continue to watch the story of these boys unfold and open your hearts to others pain out there. Don’t close your eyes to sadness or one day you will no longer feel and that is terrible when you can become numb or indifferent to others in crisis.
Don’t forget to thank God daily for your healthy loved ones. Cherish these angels and the ones that God has placed in your lives. As always continue to pray for the blessing and health of others. Don’t let the world’s ways rob you of your humanity.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Untitled
Living inside my head
Waking to dreams
When does reality end?
Is it really what it seems?
Drifting along the waters
No longer can see the shore
Unlocking the madness
Trapped behind the door
Restlessness is often
Leaving nothing to explore
Living inside my head
Lost it all
A tiny care in the world
Left me small
Water swallows me
I continue to drown
Gurgling is a choke
No longer with a sound
As the tide pulls me down
Looking for arms that are
No longer around
Cassandra K Garduno
Waking to dreams
When does reality end?
Is it really what it seems?
Drifting along the waters
No longer can see the shore
Unlocking the madness
Trapped behind the door
Restlessness is often
Leaving nothing to explore
Living inside my head
Lost it all
A tiny care in the world
Left me small
Water swallows me
I continue to drown
Gurgling is a choke
No longer with a sound
As the tide pulls me down
Looking for arms that are
No longer around
Cassandra K Garduno
Runaway Dreams
I fell into a dream, harder than I should
I would wake up only if I could
I hear voices talking to me
Trapped in my mind, won't someone wake me please
Paralyzed by an unspeakable fear
Wondering if I am still here
No longer with a voice, I can no longer shout
Help me in this dream like state I need a way out
My heart threatening to explode as it races
A hellish realization with too many faces
Life filled with distortions
Semi conscience things come alive with contortions
I can hear, but I can't move or speak
A silent cry, no one to hear me weep
Trapped in a prison, I'll wait and see
My dreams up and ran off with me
Cassandra K Garduno
I would wake up only if I could
I hear voices talking to me
Trapped in my mind, won't someone wake me please
Paralyzed by an unspeakable fear
Wondering if I am still here
No longer with a voice, I can no longer shout
Help me in this dream like state I need a way out
My heart threatening to explode as it races
A hellish realization with too many faces
Life filled with distortions
Semi conscience things come alive with contortions
I can hear, but I can't move or speak
A silent cry, no one to hear me weep
Trapped in a prison, I'll wait and see
My dreams up and ran off with me
Cassandra K Garduno
Ebb
Deeper, deeper I ebb and fall.
A child once again helpless and small.
Slowly in my head the walk fades into a crawl.
In my dreams I can escape my despair and woe.
Into slumber there I must go.
Deeper, deeper my mind is at ease.
Only in my world of slumber can I find peace.
Restlessness sets in and I must implore.
Through the many rooms in my head I begin to explore.
Deeper, deeper I become numb.
Chase away the nightmares before they come.
To escape deeper into my head I must run.
Cassandra K Garduno
A child once again helpless and small.
Slowly in my head the walk fades into a crawl.
In my dreams I can escape my despair and woe.
Into slumber there I must go.
Deeper, deeper my mind is at ease.
Only in my world of slumber can I find peace.
Restlessness sets in and I must implore.
Through the many rooms in my head I begin to explore.
Deeper, deeper I become numb.
Chase away the nightmares before they come.
To escape deeper into my head I must run.
Cassandra K Garduno
Child of Jesus
Child of love know that you came from heaven above
Child of Jesus let the Lord guide you in your ways
Child of faith always pray at the end of the day
With your mouth closed listen closely for His voice
With you eyes open always look to make the right choice
With your arms outstretched for Him you must always reach
There are lessons for you in life the He is trying to teach
Use Jesus as your model all through your life
He will be your rock in good times and in strife
In this life never be less than kind
Know the wherever you go Jesus won’t be far behind
He gave you His love and His dedication
Jesus is the reason you have complete salvation
Your eternal life is something you can anticipate
One-day angels for you will open up heaven’s gates
Until then keep focused on Jesus so you may never stumble
In life always try to be modest and humble
Always know for you He has set a path
May your life be joyous and never forget to laugh
Cassandra Kaye Garduno
Child of Jesus let the Lord guide you in your ways
Child of faith always pray at the end of the day
With your mouth closed listen closely for His voice
With you eyes open always look to make the right choice
With your arms outstretched for Him you must always reach
There are lessons for you in life the He is trying to teach
Use Jesus as your model all through your life
He will be your rock in good times and in strife
In this life never be less than kind
Know the wherever you go Jesus won’t be far behind
He gave you His love and His dedication
Jesus is the reason you have complete salvation
Your eternal life is something you can anticipate
One-day angels for you will open up heaven’s gates
Until then keep focused on Jesus so you may never stumble
In life always try to be modest and humble
Always know for you He has set a path
May your life be joyous and never forget to laugh
Cassandra Kaye Garduno
Boy Wonder
Gabriel never ceases to amaze me. The boy who hates to tie his shoes is always constantly playing let's make a deal, just amazed me. We were at school waiting for the bell to ring. Mass chaos on the playground kids running around and Gabriel was among them. Suddenly he holds out his arms to his friend Jacob and says stop. Then he continues on to say to him " Jacob your shoes are untied, your going to get hurt." Gabriel bends down and ties both shoes for Jacob.
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